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Mexican Essay Paragraph Joke

Short Mexico Jokes

Q: Why do Mexicans make refried beans?
A: Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto!

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a lowered car?
A: Carlos!

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
A: He had locomotives.

Q: What do you call a Mexican drowning in mayonnaise?
A: Sinko De Mayo.

Q: Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
A: Her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
A: He joined the que que que.

Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?
A: Alien vs Predator.

Q: What's the difference between pick and choose?
A: Pick means to select something and choose is what a Mexican wears on his feet.

Q: What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
A: Cuatro, sink-o.

Project X is still not even close to being as crazy as a Mexican party. Nice try gringos

Q: What do you call a Mexican midget?
A: A paragraph cause he's too short to be an essay.

Q: What do you call a mexican with a bottle of vermouth?
A: A dry Martinez.

Q: What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer?
A: Arriba McEntire.

Q: What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three?
A: Because there is no tres-passing.

Q: Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?
A: Tequila.

Q: How does every Mexican joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners?
A: Baked Beans.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Mexican and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?
A: I don't know either, but imagine that thing picking oranges

Q: How do you say "tall Mexicans" in Spanish?
A: Churros

Q: Why cant Mexicans have a barbeque?
A: The beans keep falling through the grill

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chinese and a Mexican man?
A: A car thief who can't drive!

Q: What do you call an Mexican in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.

Q: Whats the difference between a Mexican and a deadbeat?
A: About three Coronas.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

Q: Why were there only 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?
A: They only had two cars.

Q: What happens when a Mexican and an ASIAN make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Iranian?
A: Oil of Ol'e.

Q: Why did God give Mexicans noses?
A: So they'll have something to pick in the winter.

Q: What do you call two Mexican FireFighting brothers?
A: Hose A and Hose B

Q: What kind of containers are there in Mexico?
A: Mexicans.

Q: How do you teach a Mexican to swim?
A: Put a fence in front of the pool

Q: What's a Mexicans favorite book store?
A: Borders

Q: Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?
A: Cause nobody will look for them?

Q: Name the only American holiday a Mexican won't celebrate?
A: Labor day!

Q: What do you call a building full of Mexicans?
A: Jail

Q: Why are Mexicans and basketball players a like?
A: They both run jump shoot and steal

Q: What do Mexicans and vending machines have in common?
A: They both take your money and don't work.

Q: What do you call a little mexican?
A: a paragraph cause he's not an ese yet

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because they're all to short.

Q: How do you keep Mexicans from stealing?
A: Put everthing on the top shelf.

Q: Whats the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo?
A: Nobody pretends to be Mexican.

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
A: Cross country

Q: What do you call a guy thats half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker?
A: Juan Chu

Q: What did the Mexican say when he had the best time of his life?
A: Taco about a good time.

Q: Why can't Mexicans be firemen?
A: They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b

Q: Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?
A: Because it says no trespassing

Q: What do you call a completely shaven Mexican?
A: A smooth criminal.

Q: What do you call a bad puppy?
A: Felix Naughty Dog

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just Juan

Q: What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
A: Steal a chicken

Q: What do you call a Mexican chick with no legs?
A: cuntswaylow

Q: How do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
A: Put up a help-wanted sign

Q: What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
A: Grand Theft Auto.

Q: What is the difference between a Mexican and a elevator?
A: One can raise families.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
A: Unemployed.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with no car?
A: Joaquin!

Q: Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
A: They are too short to get into any other type of car.

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a tire?
A: It depends on how many need to get out of the trunk first.

Q: What's a Mexicans favorite subject?
A: Math, because all they know how to do is multiply.

Q: What do you call a Mexican in a Chinese Restaurant?
A: A Juantan

Q: Why do you never see a funeral procession in Mexican neighborhoods?
A: There are never enough jumper cables.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a Olympic team?
A: Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!

Did u hear about those two mexicans that went to college?
Neither did I

If the ocean was whiskey, and the sand was cocaine, I'd be in Mexico feeling no pain

I'm starting a Mariachi band with four of my Mexican friends. We'll call ourselves "Juan Direction."

My Latino friend was angry I made a Mexican joke, so I said "Lets taco bout it."

Mexicans be like you're the only Juan for me.

Trump es un Pendejo.

El Chapo only escaped from prison to have a "talk" with Trump.

Mexican and Black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

"I hate tacos" said no Juan ever

there was a taco and some nachos.
the nacho was sad so the taco said wanna taco about it
and the nachos said nacho business

The Mexican goverment has the best social welfare system in the world.
No forms to fill out, open to everyone, cost nothing to run.
Is called the US border.

I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl.
Until I asked her if she had papers, she immediately ran off.


This Mexican dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Texan sees him. After the Mexican is done the texan bloke asks him, "How come you Mexicans don't wash your hands after you pee?"
The Mexican smiles, "Senior, we Mexicans don't piss in our hands..."

Mexican Wedding
A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

"Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"

His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."

You Know You Are a Mexican When...

You share the same social security number with all your amigos
You smell like BO all the time
You have at least thirty cousins
You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food
There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus
You run and hide when you see the border patrol
You see a fence and want to hop over it
You have crooked teeth
You are too short to go on rides in disney land
You have a salsa stain on your shirt from a while ago that won't come off
You fart more than you breath
Your biggest problem is deciding between tacos or burritos
At your service job everyone talks to you as if you don't speak english
You have at least thirty cousins
You have beans and rice with every meal
Instead of saving for your daughters wedding you save money for her quince�iera.
You don't want Donald Trump to win because all your cousins will get deported.
Your mowing your own grass, then a car stops to ask you how much you charge
When a song in Spanish is on the radio, and your friends ask you what they are saying
Your house smells like burning tortillas
Everyone sings "Feliz Cumpleanos" instead of the Happy Birthday song on your birthday
Gringos ask you how you roll your R's
you have tons of cousins to beat the hell out of somebody when you need them too
Your parents think your lazy because you take Spanish in high school.
Your parents will beat you with anything they can find. Brooms, shoes, wires, pans, guitars.
Your mouth gets all watery when you smell something spicy
your phone's autocorrect keeps messing up your Spanish texts to your parents.
You watch Border Wars just to re-live those days again.
You hold tequila in one hand, a cross in the other, praying to La Virgen De Guadalupe.
You are in a 5-passenger car with 8 people in it
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
All your white friends think your cousins are in drug cartels in Mexico.

The Foreigner
Once there was a man that came from Mexico to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."

Drunk Mexican
I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer.
He was hurting so bad with a hangover..he then asks me for another.
I said "You got money?
He told me no, but he is hurting so bad that he will do anything for another round....
I looked at him and told him..if you could use these three colors in a sentence, I'll buy you a round...Green Pink and Yellow.
The drunk mexican looks at me, thinks for a second, and tells me.."I got it senor, I got it...The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and I said Yellow?"
I bought him a round....

Four Amigos
There was a Britsh man, a Saudi Arabian man, a Texan and a Mexican.
They where all on a plane and it started to shake and the pilot said we have hit bad turbelance some of you is going to have to jump out.
So the Saudi Arabian man said "For the King" and jumped out.
Then the Britsh man said "For the Queen" and he too jumped out.
Then the Texan said "For the Alamo" and kicked the Mexican out of the plane.

Smart Ass Mexican
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of a Mexican telecom tycoon, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth" "?

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Pedro.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinski, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

More Mexican Jokes

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Joke Generators:

Mexican jokes

Mexican jokes are the most lively people that you will ever come across and they have some of the most delicious meals and amazing traditions. However, the way they talk and their accent has been given a funny twist in these amazing Mexican jokes.



    • What do you call a mexican midget?
      A paragraph because he’s not full essay.
    • How do you start a Mexican bedtime story
      Juan upon a time
    • How many stars did the Mexican get?
      Only Juan
    • I hate Tacos!
      Said no Juan ever
    • Why’d the Mexican cross the road?
      He took the chicken’s job.
    • Why did the Mexican guy throw his wife off of a cliff?
    • What do you call a guy that’s half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker?
      Juan Chu
    • What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
      A book has papers.
    • Did you hear the joke about the racist mexican?
      He joined the que que que
    • What do you call a Mexican with a broken lawn mower?
    • Why do Mexicans eat burritos at Christmas?
      So they have something to unwrap.
    • What do you call a Mexican who can swim?
      A Texan.
    • A Mexican, a Pakistani, and an American are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’ The Pakistani obviously impressed by this, drinks his non-alcohol beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’ The American, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Pakistani. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, he says, ‘In America we have so many illegal immigrants that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.’
    • What do you get when you kick a Mexican girl in the cunt?
    • What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards the alamo?
      Who ordered concrete?
    • What’s a mexican’s favorite sport?
      Cross country.
    • How do you stop a Mexican tank?
      Shoot the guy pushing it.
    • Why do Mexicans have big noses?
      So they have something to pick in the offseason.
    • How do 3 Mexicans cross the Rio Grand?
      One swims and the other two walked on the dead fish.
    • What do you call An mexican with a dog ?
      A vegetarian !
    • What do you have when there are two Mexicans in a box?
      A pair of loafers.
    • What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican With An Octopus?
      I Don’t Know, But It Can Sure Pick Lettuce
    • What Would You Call A Mexican Gigolo?
      Juan For The Money!
    • Why Wasn’t Christ Born In Mexico?
      They Couldn’t Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin.
    • Why Is Semen White And Pee Yellow?
      So Mexicans Can Tell If They’re Coming Or Going.
    • Why Don’t Mexican Women Breast Feed Their Children?
      It Hurts Too Much To Boil Their Nipples!
    • Why Are Mexicans So Quick On Their Feet?
      Because They Spend Their First Nine Months Dodging Coat Hangers.
    • What do you call a Mexican at a university?
      The caretaker.
    • How Many Mexicans Does It Take To Eat An Armadillo?
      Three, One To Eat It And Two To Watch For Cars.
    • How do you break a Mexican’s finger?
      Punch him in the nose.
    • Have you heard about the Mexican 500 car race?
      The first car to start wins.
    • Why do Mexicans keep tin foil on their noses?
      Keeps their lunch warm.
    • Why do Mexicans have small steering wheels?
      So they can drive with handcuffs on!
    • Mexican word of ‘wheelhair’ Juan and me only have uno taco, but it’s ok wheelchair.
    • What do you call four mexicans in quicksand?
      Quatro sinko?
    • What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
      A beaner Schnitzel
    • There was a Colombian, a Mexican and an American on a boat. The Mexican sees the Colombian throw a coffee bean overboard as he walks by. « Why’d you throw the coffee bean over? » asks the Mexican.
      « Because we have too many in our country ».
    • How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican?
      Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.
    • What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
    • How come there aren’t any Mexicans on Star Trek?
      They don’t work in the future, either.
    • Good luck today on your essay, ese.
      And I’ll see you when you get home, homes.
    • How do Mexicana cut their pizza?
      Little Ceasars
    • Why do Mexicans have mustaches?
      So they can look like their mothers.
    • A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican:- he was born in a barn- he walked around always wearing flip-flops- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle
    • Why are Mexicans so short?
      Because when they »re young, their parents say, « When you grow up you have to get a job »
    • How do you starve a mexican?
      Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
    • Why do Mexicans make refried beans?
      Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time.
    • Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?
      They don’t work in the future either!
    • Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?
      They only had 2 vans
    • What is the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of crap…?
      The bucket.
    • Why do Mexicans have big noses?
      So they have something to pick in the offseason.
    • Why don’t mexicans have barbeques?
      The beans keep slipping through the grill.
    • What Do Mexicans Say Before Picking Their Noses?
    • What do you get when you cross a chicano and a polock?
      A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.
    • What Is A Wiener?
      The First One To Cross The Line At A Mexican Track Meet.
    • When Does A Mexican Become A Spaniard?
      When He Marries Your Daughter.
    • Why Is There So Little Great mexican Literature?
      Spray Paint Wasn’t Invented Until 1950.
    • Why Don’t They Give Mexicans A Whole Hour For Lunch?
      They Don’t Want To Have To Retrain Them.
    • Why Do Mexicans Pick At Their Belly Buttons When Their Plates Are Clean?
      They Want An After-Dinner Lint.
    • What Happened To The Mexicans National Library?
      Someone Stole The Book.
    • What Did The Mexican Do With His First Fifty Cent Piece?
      He Married Her.
    • How Does The Mexican Prepare For A Trip In Alaska?
      He Packs A Six-Pack In Case He Has To Leave a Message In The Snow.
    • How can you tell a Mexican woman is on her period?
      She’s only wearing one sock
    • Did You Hear About The Mexican Terrorist Sent To Blow Up A Car?
      He Burned His Mouth On The Tailpipe.
    • What is the best-selling deodorant in Mexico?
    • How many Mexican mechanics does it take to lube a car?
      One if you back over him twice.
    • Why didn’t the Mexican go bow hunting?
      Because he didn’t habanero
    • How do mexicans feel about Trump wall?
      They’ll get over it.
    • What happens when a Mexican and an Indonesian make a baby?
      A car thief who can’t actually drive is born.
    • So the Mexican throws a Taco overboard. Seeing this the American asks « why did you throw that Taco overboard? ».
      The Mexican Replies « because we have too many in our country ».
      So the American picks the Mexican up and throws him overboard…
    • Have you guys ever heard of the crazy Mexican Train Killer?
      He had…Loco Motives
    • Why do mexicans make tamales on Christmas?
      So they will have something to unwrap.
    • Jesus loves you
      Means something else in Mexico…
    • What’s the Mexican version of One Direction?
      Juan Direction!
    • What do Mexicans and beans have in common?
      They both smell like beans.
    • Your mum is like a brick – flat on all sides and gets laid by Mexicans
    • What are the first words in a Mexican cookbook?
      Steal a chicken.
    • A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a hot chick from across a bar.She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says,  » I want a man that »s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. « The black guy goes  » I love to eat liver and cheese. « The white guy goes  » I like to cook liver and cheese. « The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys  » Liver alone, cheese mine!! »
    • Why can’t mexicans play uno?
      They steal all the green cards.
    • A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
      Prison Break.
    • Why do mexican kids walk around school like they own the place?
      Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.
    • When a Mexican runs into a wall whats the first thing that hits?
      His Lawn Mower.
    • What do you call a mexican baptism?
      Bean dip.
    • Why can’t Mexicans become Doctors?
      It’s too hard to spray paint prescriptions.
    • What Do You Say To A mexican In A Three-Piece Suit?
      Will The Defendant Please Rise!
    • Why don’t Mexicans have checking accounts?
      It’s too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.


More funny Mexican jokes


    • What Do You Call A Mexican With A Vasectomy?
      A Dry Martinez.
    • What Is The Name Of Mexico’s Telephone Company?
      “Taco Bell.”
    • Why Do Mexicans Eat Beans For Dinner?
      So They Can Take Bubble Baths.
    • Why Is The Average Age Of The mexican Army, 40?
      Because They Take ’em Right Out Of High School!
    • Why Don’t Mexican Women Use Vibrators?
      It Chips Their Teeth.
    • What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican And A Squirrel?
      A Tree Full Of Hubcaps.
    • Why Do They Using Mexicans Instead Of Laboratory Rats In Experiments Now?
      Mexicans Breed Faster And You Don’t Get So Attached To Them.
    • What Are The Three Most Difficult Years In A Mexican’s Life?
      Second Grade.
    • How can you tell a Mexican cock sucker? A: He’s the one spitting feathers.
    • How does a Mexican count?
      “1, 2, 3, another, another, another….”
    • Did you hear about the Mexican lesbian?
      She loved men.
    • Why do Mexicans drive low-riders?
      So they can drive and pick lettuce.

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